The relationship type that’s universally despised by women on dating apps

Image: vicky leta / mashable

In the Tinder generation, casual sex is a mere swipe away. But fast-swiping hasn’t killed the romance of dating, nor has it replaced it with a casual hookup culture.

Turns out that friends-with-benefits relationships and one-night hookups are actually the least desired types of relationship sought on dating apps, according to the largest ever international sex and tech survey.

The study conducted by female health app Clue and the Kinsey Institute surveyed 140,000 women from a broad spectrum of sexual identities in 198 countries about the impact of technology in their sex lives, dating habits and sexual education.

30 percent of respondents said they used apps to find some form of sexual partner.

Image: clue app

Rather surprisingly, the results show that people seem to be more interested in finding love than finding lust. Out of a possible of five different types of relationships, more people wanted to find steady relationships over a fleeting fling.

The survey showed that a friends-with-benefits arrangement is the least sought-after relationship for dating app users. Only 8.1 percent of respondents said they’d used an app to find a friends-with-benefits relationship, where there’s “no romantic connection, but regular/frequent sex”. And, 10 percent said they’d been swiping for one-night stands or hookups.

Meanwhile, 15 percent of those surveyed said they used apps for long-term relationships and 14.9 percent said they’d been looking for short-term relationships, like a string of meetings or dates. And 11.5 percent have used dating apps for chatting and sexting with no real plan to meet up in person. Sounds a bit like breadcrumbing.

But is this study indicative of what most daters are looking for? Publicist and online dater Holly Forrest says she’s used dating apps to find friends-with-benefits in the past. “I’ve had a few successful friends with benefits situations come through Bumble which was fun,” says Forrest. She says in those situations it was all outlined before the first date and felt “contractual”.

She feels there’s a pretty dominant hookup culture on apps. “On dating apps it seems to be a sea full of one-night-wonders, rather than someone who is interested to get to know you as a person,” says Forrest.

PR manager Diana Villegas says it “really depends on where someone is in life”. “When I started using tinder I wasn’t looking for anything long-term. Afterwards that changed,” says Villegas. She has a point.

Online daters should take heart, nonetheless. Dating apps aren’t all about hookups and casual sex, and it looks like people are still out there looking for love.

There’s hope for all of us yet.

Read more: http://mashable.com/2017/08/09/friends-with-benefits-study/

What happens after you ghost someone? They come back to haunt your Snapchat.

Social media is now spookier than ever.
Image: ambar del moral/mashable

Do you have lost loves lurking on your Instagram feed? Do you feel a spooky shiver whenever you use Snapchat? Youre probably being haunted.

Yes, haunted. Basically it’s when someone youve ended things with decides to reassert themselves into your fragile mind by watching your Instagram or Snapchat stories or liking your social media posts.

As with actual ghosts, they usually appear out of nowhere often they don’t even follow you officially. And seeing that notification pop up on your phone gives you a fright or, worse, brings up all the bad feelings you’ve tried to leave behind.

To be clear, you don’t have to have ghosted or been ghosted by someone in order for them to haunt you. Even a former mate with whom you had a proper wrenching goodbye can pop up months or even years later to remind you of their existence.

Haunting is the newest new term for a longstanding dating phenomenon, and it’s the logical followup to our recent plague of ghosting. Modern romance is really moving into a scary place, y’all.

Its not entirely new, obviously. Former lovers have been finding ways to irritate and stalk us from the beyond for as long as there have been people, and the term itself has been around since at least last summer.

It’s really starting to take hold though, even getting a shout out in Cosmo. This rise has almost certainly been fueled by the fact that Instagram and Facebook stories now provide yet another realm for these otherworldly presences to rattle around in.

Fittingly, it can be very hard to exercise these dating demons once they’ve found you. You’ll only out yourself by pinging them and demanding to know why they’re hanging around in your social media space.

Boooo!

Image: giphy

There’s always delete your account, but that’s a bit like burning down the house to get rid of the ghost it’ll never work. For now that leaves you with blocking them, an imperfect but effective solution, or making peace with the ghost’s occasional presence.

We can only hope that someday there will be a way to burn virtual sage and exorcise these spirits from our feeds. Oh, right, there already is. It’s called blocking.

WATCH: Lady Gaga FaceTimed with Prince William to discuss a very important issue

Read more: http://mashable.com/2017/04/20/haunting-dating-ghosting/